Struggling with my perceived dichotomies

I know the world is not as simple as black and white but sometimes I find myself between two extremes that I want to be at and it can be rather infuriating. This blog is about books and balance and all my life’s interests in this strange amalgamation and some of my life is driving me a little crazy. In the rotation that had been keeping me relatively sane in the insanity of my life, this is supposed to be a yoga post.

I love yoga and I love reading about yoga and I’ve started the mudras book that I bought a while back but I haven’t been able to try anything yet. The problem is that since I finished the sutras, I’ve also been seeing a lot of cool stuff on Instagram and I really want to learn the aerial yoga but I’m not fit enough for it. When I try to do power yoga in an effort to become fit enough, I demoralize myself every time I think about the sutras.

Since yoga is not about the asanas, but the asanas are meant to teach us the lessons of yoga, then why get caught up in the asanas? Vanity?

I come back to vanity a lot. I don’t feel the same peace when I’m done doing the kind of workout that helps me build up fitness to the level of being able to some of the cool stuff that we see all over the place. Should I stop?

Likewise, this has also started a struggle within my reading. I finally finished the doorstopper for Read Harder task 16, which was almost painful. It was a good book and a review will follow but it was SO LONG. I used to love doorstoppers but I just couldn’t find one that I had the patience for long and I was passed the middle when it hit me with this one. As usual, this was an audiobook for me, 15 HOURS, and it was about hour nine that it got slow and hour twelve that became near unbearable. But it’s done now and I’m so relieved.

Of course, everything going on in the world is only making things more complicated and frightening. I’m grateful for the precautions that everyone is taking but I am concerned with goods not always being available and if services will follow and how long it all will last. I’m concerned with the hit to the economy in that way that I don’t want life after to be so different from life before. I’m not trying to be an alarmist and safety is paramount, but I do wonder how long this can last before we start living in one of those crazy dystopian books that I’ve enjoyed so much. Maybe I’ve just read too many dystopians. It doesn’t help that I have been anxiously awaiting the final installment of the Shatter Me series that comes out next week.

Does this mean that it’s time for a break from fiction since one of my favorite genres is only making current circumstances worse? Or a break from the nonfiction because I seem to only find books that are about people going through even worse times than we are now? Should I take a break from reading? But then what will I do with myself?

And so, you see, dear readers, I am in a place that is somehow the middle of two extremes but also not a balance of those places. Maybe I’ll get it figured out, maybe I won’t. It actually seems like the perfect time to reflect back on the little sayings I wrote on my yoga room mirrors not long ago.

When it rains, let it.

Peace of mind comes piece by piece.

Chaos is happening around me, not to me. Be the eye of the storm.

I never have to do today again.

They’re personalized snippets of advice. The first one came out of the yoga sutras commentary. The second one came from a yogi tea bag. The last two are from Pinterest.

How do you all deal with the swaying between polarities?

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